| No. |
Meddling
(dysfunction) |
Helping
(Health) |
| 1 |
Fearing scarcity |
Believing that God will provide |
| 2 |
Saying "Yes" to self |
Saying "Yes" to God |
| 3 |
Asking "Why is this happening to me" to the point of narcissistic martyrdom and despair |
Taking the question "Why is this happening to me" directly to God |
| 4 |
Ignoring, misusing, and / or withholding the answer given by God |
Accepting the answer given by God and trusting Him to know better than me |
| 5 |
Picking favorites |
Loving unconditionally |
| 6 |
Choosing to stay in my comfort zone |
Accepting challenges that can stretch me to grow and change |
| 7 |
Taking matters into my own hands |
Taking my problems to God and leaving them with Him |
| 8 |
Demanding that a child meet my needs |
Taking responsibility for getting my needs met so that I am prepared to meet my child's needs |
| 9 |
Promising to fix or take the fall for anything that goes wrong |
Allowing children to experience the natural consequences of their choices even if it means I'll experience pain |
| 10 |
Using intimate knowledge of a loved one against him or her |
Protecting intimate knowledge to keep the people and relationships safe |
| 11 |
Lying and using "God adds" to justify my actions |
Telling the truth |
| 12 |
Trying to prevent necessary pain and disappointment |
Modeling how to suffer with and for others |
| 13 |
Escaping the consequences of my actions |
Facing and seeking forgiveness for the consequences of my actions |
