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Quarrelling And Arguing

How can arguments be prevented between Christians?

Related Topics: Conflicts, Disagreements, Insults, Anger, Disputing, Fighting etc.

1. Don't Argue With Christians

Phillippians 2:12-18
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing,
15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe
16 as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.
18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

VERSE: In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing. (Phil. 2:14)

Unity around the person of Jesus Christ should be maintained.

Why are complaining and arguing so harmful?

If all that people know about a church is that its members constantly argue, complain, and gossip, they get a false impression of Christ's gospel.

Belief in Christ should unite those who trust him.

If the people in our church are always complaining and arguing, they lack the unifying power of Jesus Christ.

Stop arguing with other Christians or complaining about people and conditions within the church and let the world see Christ.

Proverbs 15:1-9
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
5 A fool spurns his father's discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
6 The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble.
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.
8 The LORD detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but the prayer of the upright pleases him.
9 The LORD detests the way of the wicked but he loves those who pursue righteousness.

VERSE: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Arguments are prevented when people exercise self-control.

Have you ever tried to argue in a whisper?

It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering softly.

On the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger an angry response.

To turn away wrath and seek peace, quiet words are your best choice.

2. Go Away From Those Who Quarrel Foolishly

Titus 3:1-11
1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,
2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,
5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,
7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.
11 You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

VERSE: Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These kinds of things are useless and a waste of time.

Clear understanding avoids arguments.

Paul warned Titus, as he warned Timothy, not to get involved in arguments over unanswerable questions (2 Tim. 2:14).

This does not mean we should refuse to study, discuss, and examine different interpretations of difficult Bible passages.

Paul is warning against petty quarrels, not honest discussions that lead to wisdom.

When foolish arguments develop, it is best to turn the discussion back to a track that is going somewhere or politely excuse yourself.

How should we respond to arguments between others?

Proverbs 26:17-28
17 Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.
18 Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows
19 is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!"
20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.
23 Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.
24 A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit.
25 Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart.
26 His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.
27 If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; if a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him.
28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.

VERSE: Pulling a dog's ears is as foolish as interfering in someone else's argument. (Proverbs 26:17)

Avoid interfering with arguments between others.

Pulling a dog's ears is a good way to get bitten, and interfering in arguments is a good way to get hurt.

Many times both arguers will turn on the person who interferes.

It is best simply to keep out of arguments that are none of your business.

If you must become involved, try to wait until the arguers have stopped fighting and cooled off a bit. Then maybe you can help them mend their differences and their relationship.