Hurts, Bitterness, Bad Attitudes create resentment and destroy relationship and causes disunity. Some have left the kingdom because they could not resolve and forgive.
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
26 "In your anger do not sin" : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Especially in the church to keep the perfect unity we have to resolve quickly, forgive and forget. There are two sides to deal with:
1. When someone sins against us.
2. When we sin against others.
If we believe someone has sinned against us, treating us unrighteously or misrepresented us, the Bible tells us:
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Jesus expects us to go to that person and express our feelings. We should go with gentleness and respect (Gal 6:1) Gather all the facts. If they confess and ask for forgiveness the matter is resolved and it never need to go further. We should forgive completely and bring up the matter no more. Jesus says you have won the person over.
If we do go and they do not give a fair hearing or dismiss the matter and put it back on us, we have to go to wise, spiritually minded, objective people to help both of us to sort out the issues.
If we are hurt by the leaders we need not ‘stuff’ matters and hope they will get better, remember anything stuffed comes out. However, with leaders Bible expects Submissiveness.
7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
It does not mean that we should never ask questions or give inputs, but no room for critical attitude, pricking at actions, resists directions that are given. The other side of the coin is that when the realization comes to us that we have sinned against others, Jesus tells us what to do.
23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
However inconvenient it may seem, Jesus expects us to leave the sacrifice go find the person, get resolved, come back and offer the sacrifice to show how crucial it is to keep things working out with God. Most conflicts in the Kingdom work out quickly.
If something does not get resolved immediately we have to keep out heart soft, forgive, pray; keep working on the relationship. It is the only way to keep the Kingdom united.
If the other person is not willing to forgive after an apology, our effort to resolve, leave them alone.
Let us be righteous and leave the judgement to God.
1 Peter 2:19-25
19 For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God.
20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.
21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
22 "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth."
23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
25 For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.