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  Exasperation Interaction - Overly Permissive  

1 Samuel 2:12-24, 29-30
12 Eli's sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the LORD.
13 Now it was the practice of the priests with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice and while the meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand.
14 He would plunge it into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh.
15 But even before the fat was burned, the servant of the priest would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, "Give the priest some meat to roast; he won't accept boiled meat from you, but only raw."
16 If the man said to him, "Let the fat be burned up first, and then take whatever you want," the servant would then answer, "No, hand it over now; if you don't, I'll take it by force."
17 This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord's sight, for they were treating the Lord's offering with contempt.
18 But Samuel was ministering before the LORD--a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 Each year his mother made him a little robe and took it to him when she went up with her husband to offer the annual sacrifice.
20 Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, "May the LORD give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the LORD." Then they would go home.
21 And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.
22 Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.
23 So he said to them, "Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.
24 No, my sons; it is not a good report that I hear spreading among the Lord's people.

29 Why do you scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?'
30 "Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that your house and your father's house would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.

We see in these passages how Eli has been overly permissive that lead his children completely unguided and undisciplined. Eli's sons took by force the meat from people who wanted to sacrifice it for God and were sexually exploiting women at the Tabernacle where the Israelites came to worship.

Eli told his sons that they should not do this, but took no action to actually stop them from continuing in their evil behaviour toward the people of God. This looks like the Permissive parenting style of Eli with his children.

Probably he was not consistently involved guiding the children or the other reason may be he did not have good connection with his children to be confident to take actions of discipline beyond just telling them. His overly permissive approach led the situation where God says to Eli, "You honor your sons more than you honor me". From then on the whole family goes down to destruction.

Parents whose interactions are overly permissive make look like that they do not cause exasperation to children but on the long run make the children experience exasperation because of lack of discipline and guidance to respect boundaries. These parents instead of proactive positive parenting they are simply not there in the lives of children. They are too busy with their own thing or not available for the children.

Some parents feel guilty for not getting involved with their children so they over react by not expecting children to respect boundaries or learn proper discipline. Some parents may be lazy to get involved on a consistent basis others are not comfortable getting involved in difficult emotions or issues of children. So these parents distract their kids from emotions by letting them watch loads of TV.

They also allow their children to get away with lot of mischief before they even say anything. Eventually when children do feel guided by their parents they develop a feeling of insecurity about the direction they are heading and also feel disconnected from their parents. This is how the overly permissive interactions causes Exasperation on children.

Today's Practical

Do a devotional on this passage with your children and let them know how much God wants you as a parent to be involved in raising them up with Discipline and by setting boundaries.

Teach them to respect the Boundaries set in their life and with other relationships.